First off, get your head out of the gutter. Now that that’s out of the way, I would like to explain that in order for characters to make this list, they have to actually be ridden in a game. It does not have to by a player-character doing the riding, but someone or something has to ride these characters at some point in an actual video game. Now, for the reveal . . .
5. A Chocobo (Final Fantasy) – Riding a Chocobo would be very cool for two reasons. #1. Chocobos are one of the main symbols/mascots of the much beloved and long-lived Final Fantasy Franchise, and some FF games provided me with some of my favorite gaming experiences. #2. I imagine that ride a Chocobo would be somewhat like riding a less ugly, golden yellow ostrich.
4. A Reaver (Gears of War) – Reavers would likely be both entertaining and terrifying to fly on. Feeling the wind in your hair (unless you’re bald), cruising around the skies, looking down at the ant-sized people below you…these are just some of the things you might experience should you manage to get past the fact that Reavers are absolutely horrifying. These beasts fit the role of steeds for the villains perfectly, and they look incredibly menacing. Now, this could be useful for scaring the neighborhood children, but you have to be brave enough yourself to actually hop on the thing first.
3. A Gyrados (Pokemon) – I admit that a Gyrados is probably the least useful character on this list to actually use for transportation, especially if you live in a land-locked area. However, Gyrados is a fan-favorite for a reason; sea serpents are awesome. What makes a Gyrados even more amazing is that it starts out as Magikarp, the most useless pokemon in the world. Riding on the back of a Gyrados through the rough ocean seas sends the message that you are a complete and total badass, and that no one can mess with you. Everyone loves having that feeling every once in a while.
2. A Dragon (More Games Than I’d Care To Count) – You cannot seriously tell me that you didn’t fantasize about having your own dragon when you were growing up. Similar to Reavers, dragons could provide those lucky enough to own one with the awesome power of flight. Riding on the back of something capable of breathing fire would fill every nerve of your body with a sensation that has yet to be named. Aside from being hugely impractical and having little to hold onto to prevent you from falling, dragons could be the ideal air transportation.
1. Yoshi (Mario Brothers) – Come on. You had to see this coming. A Top 5 about riding video game characters and Yoshi doesn’t make the cut? Not going happen. It is true that a Yoshi might not be as empowering to ride as numbers four to two on this list, but that’s not the point. Let’s dive a bit deeper. As I’ve previously pointed out, these characters do not have much of a practical purpose, but Yoshi does (at least to a degree). Yoshis are large enough to carry any average size adult no problem, but small enough for you to keep them at your home (unless you live in a small apartment or dorm). Picking up after it would be much more time consuming and disgusting than picking up after your dog or cat, but it would be worth it because you could ride to work or school on the back of a dinosaur.
Besides providing you with an alternative way of getting around, a Yoshi would also enable you to seek revenge on those who have wronged you. Simply have your Yoshi pull your enemies in with its slimy pink tongue, swallow them whole, then pop them out in an again. Whoever you subjected to the emotional torment won’t suffer any physical pain, but will have a hard time forgetting what it was like to be pass through the insides of a prehistoric being. I say “Yoshi for the win.” . . . yes, I actually say that.